Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I know what I wanna do, but ...

What pains me is that I don’t need coaching. I know what I’m passionate about. I know what I’m supposed to be doing. I know what I want to do. I already know what I like and enjoy doing. I know what it is that I’d like to do every morning when I wake up. I know what it is, that thing, that I would not mind waking up at 4am for. I don’t need to do a test to know what my strong points are. I don’t need to do a survey via a link on some career coaching website to know what I’m good at. I already know. But still, I do nothing about it. 
 I know what tickles my fancy. I know the flavour of my favourite cup ‘o tea. I know what my cherry on top would be. I know the path I want to take. I know where I want to go. I know where the bus station is, how much the bus costs. But still, I stand motionless.
 I know what I would not mind doing all day long. And I know I would do it over and over and over again. In the morning, motshegare, le ka nako ya bosigo.  Tirelessly. Effortlessly. Passionately. But still, I sit. Nothing. 
I know what sets the fire in my belly alight. I know what’s music to my ears. I know what tune sets me in motion. I know what gets me in the mood.  I know what I’m looking for and where to get it. But still, I remain crippled, flat on my behind.
I know what inspires me. I know what I applaud. I know what turns me on. I know what makes me take my hat off. I know what I love and respect. But still, I don’t make my move. 

 What is it that keeps me apart, away, far away from my God-given calling? What prevents me from finding my north star?

Is it fear?
Of what? 
The unknown? Change? 
Is it stupidity? 
Am I stubborn?
Am I timid?

1 comment:

  1. I'd say it's your fear to fly because you don't view yourself as the eagle you are as yet. Once you learn that you actually have wings, you'll start flapping them bitjie by bitjie until you get it right. There was a time you were actually doing that, but thanks to school and some changes...you stopped.