Q&A with Kurara FM’s Refilwe Thobega

[By Kgomotso Moncho]

Refilwe Thobega is not a popular name and you might not even know who it belongs to. But Refilwe is one of many young broadcasters starting out at community radio stations. If all goes well, she might be a popular name in commercial broadcasting some day. You hardly ever get to hear the side of the story of youngsters starting out and so she opens up about the beginning of her radio career.

How long have you been on air?

I started at Kurara FM on 16 June 2012. So on that day I was celebrating youth day, as well as the beginning of my radio career.

How long have you been on air?

I started at Kurara FM on 16 June 2012. So on that day I was celebrating youth day, as well as the beginning of my radio career.

What was your first day like?

Nerve-wracking. You don’t know if you’ll sound ok, what you’ll say and if you’ll say it right. Fortunately, I was co-hosting with a gentleman called Thabang Loeto, who has experience in radio. We were both starting out at Kurara FM, but the difference is that I was totally new to radio and he had worked in radio before. But he put me at ease. But the truth is if it is really your thing … you gel in quite fast. After the first thirty minutes I simply eased into it. It was nerve wracking and exciting at the same time.

What are your impressions of radio?

Radio is a great medium. It is powerful. It is personal. What I love about it is that you don’t have to stop what you are doing to listen to it. You can carry on with whatever that you are doing while listening. With Print you have to sit down and read. The same applies to mobile media. With TV you also have to sit down and watch. Maybe it is unfair to compare these platforms because they are totally different and they all play a specific and specialised role. But the point that I am making is that radio lets you carry on with your life while listening.

Radio is volatile. It is very easy to switch channels. So, as a presenter, you don’t want to lose your listeners. You can’t be too relaxed. 

Are they what you expected?

I never really had any expectations. All I knew is that I wanted to do radio and I had no clue what to expect. I am a big “student” at heart. I always approach things from  a “learning” and “experimenting” point of view.

What kind of environment are you working in?

It’s a new and young community radio station with great potential for growth.

What are the challenges?

It does not pay. Most community radio stations do not pay. Presenters get a stipend. You can’t really do much with that. This is where passion comes into play. I have had moments when I was feeling very low and down, and sick even, but I had to choice but to go behind the mic.

Listeners don’t care what your story is, they just want to be entertained.

There is no right or wrong way. We all have our own styles. The challenge is trying to figure out what makes you you. I don’t want to sound like anybody else. It takes a while to find your own voice.

In community radio you have to learn to do everything – researching, producing, presenting, operating the deck – you do everything. In the beginning I was intimidated by the system and the deck and once I was taught, I realised how easy it was.

The other challenge is experienced when you get to deal with different personalities and egos. People want to be territorial and make you feel like you don’t belong or that you are not “there” yet. People can make you doubt yourself. There are so many times that I could have simply grabbed my handbag and my headphones and left. I had to focus and remind myself why I am doing this and where I want to see myself.

What are your tasks and what do you understand about them?

My task is simple: Keep the radio playing. LOL. I educate, inform and entertain. No dead air.

What did you do to prepare for your chance in radio?

My preparation goes as far back as 2004 when I did a TV presenting course at the SABC under the company called Media Concepts. I love both radio and TV, and I just told myself that ‘which ever door opened first …’

I am sure you know of those instances where for example a big radio station will embark on a nationwide search of a mere one presenter. I used to go to those.

While working at this other organisation in Pretoria, we had a radio unit and I took a liking in what they were doing. I always hung around the radio peeps. I did a few voice overs and got exposed to what was going on.  

Then after landing the Kurara Fm gig, I invested in some great courses. I did a radio course with On Cue Communications.  It was very hands-on. We went to Primedia at the studion of Radio 702 and Highveld stereo. We went to SABC radio. We had sessions with the likes of Mo-G and Nonn Botha of Kaya FM, Mark Pilgrim of Highveld Stereo, Sizwe Mabena of Metro FM Sports and so forth. We covered all aspects of on-air presenting: talk radio, news, sports and studio DJing techniques.

I am still trying to choose which beat to follow, because I am so flexible and diverse. At Kurara FM, so far: I have done the Saturday breakfast show (6 to 9h00), I also so-hosted a sports show for a while, I then moved to the weekly afternoon drive slot (15h00 to 18h00) and I am currently doing weekdays Sunshine Drive (12 to 15h00). 

Secondly, I also went for an individual voice training programme at the Voice Clinic. It was a great eye opener. We take our voices for granted. It isnot just a sound that comes out of your mouth; there is more to it. People can easily judge you based on how you sound. I figured that if I was going to make a career out of talking then I better invest in my voice. It was money well spent. 

Giuliana Ransic of E! Entertainment said that: if you want a career in radio and/or TV, having a journalism qualification and/or experience sets you apart. And I am sure there are many who will agree with that. So I got that area covered. The journo in me is a great advantage.

Want to share some of your experiences?

Ever since I started, I grew up a lot emotionally. I had to have some gusto and courage. Like I said earlier, I have had moments when I felt like grabbing my hand bag and storming out because of the drama.

I learned to act not on emotions. Radio is so real and live. It is not easy. When you smile your listener "hear" that. And they can also tell when you are “not in the mood”.

At one point a listener called in and said that I was boring. He asked me, on air, that where is the person who used to present the show before I took over. He would call and make nasty remarks and then hang up. I had to hold my head high and do my thing. Now imagine having to go to work every day while nervous and asking yourself who’s going to call now, what are they going to say, especially when it seemed like it was a sabotage thing. I got over it and moved on.

A friend comforted me by reminding me that when DJ Fresh started out at 5fm he experienced a great deal of hate and nastiness from some of the station’s stereotyped audience. And he now has them eating at the palm of his hands. My friends and family, who know me and who know that I am anything but boring supported me.

And the support at home had been great. It is a blessing that I started out in radio while I was staying at home with my mom and sister. By the time I move on to bigger stations and challenges I’d be tougher and ready to deal with and face whatever.

Why radio and what would you like to achieve in the radio industry?

I have always loved radio. While still growing up, as a young girl, I had this pink walkey talkey radio, which had aerials on the head phones. And I had to manually search for a station. It was my most prized possession.

Do you remember those old radios, which we called Hi-fis? My late dad would pluck things and connect things up and make me speak on the mic. I could not even talk properly at the time. And he tape-recorded such incidents.

My dad loved music. Name any legendary music icon from ages and ages ago … we had his/her cassette. I am a fan of “golden oldies” type of music because of my parents. From a very very young age I could sing along and knew the lyrics of songs such as I’m coming out by Diana Ross, I wanna dance with somebody by Whitney Houston and Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper because of the musical influence at home.

What  do you want to achieve:

I just want to grow, develop my own voice and be better at this. To know what I stand for and what I’m all about.  

This article was published in RadioBiz:
http://radiobiz.co.za/2013/04/23/qa-with-kurara-fms-refilwe-thobega/

Why iLove Christmas

I wrote this piece after I read Sipho Hlongwane's article on City Press (02/12/12) titled: "Why I hate Christmas." It inspired me to approach the paper and see if I could offer them my piece: "Why I love Christmas". No one got back to me. But the nice thing about having a blog is that you have a platform to let your writing see the light of day.

I’ve heard of people hating Valentines. They have their own reasons. But I’d never heard of anyone who hates Christmas. So when I read his article I was like: "are you serious?" because my views on Christmas are a total opposite.

My “Why I love Christmas” list would be endless, so I’m going to cut it down. First let me say to Sipho, askies that you feel that way. But I feel even more sorry for your kids (or future kids, if you don’t have them already) because kids are crazy about Christmas – that’s when “Santa Clause is coming to town”. Why rob them of that?

I was born on Christmas day, my sister was born on December 2, and my mother on December 29. So in my family, the December month has always been a big deal. To top it off, as Christians, we believe that’s when Jesus Christ was born. God’s love, kindness and mercy are seen in the birth of Christ, who eventually died for our sins.

Yeay!!!!!!!!!!

When I was a child, I noticed with curiosity and knew that when the grass is green again, flowers in full bloom, trees dripping with ripe fruit and beautiful butterflies all over the show – Christmas, and my birthday, were near.

The first time my grandfather took me to Sunday schools I was taught a prayer that concluded with “… (Jesus) Who died for us, and who rose for us, so that we can have the best of life always.” So I was conditioned from a super young age to cherish the day that this man was born. His death (Easter) is a topic for another day.

Christmas is the only time of the year when most families come together. People travel and fly from far-away places to spend time with their loved ones. What’s there to hate about that? It is the only time when most people really sit back, relax and enjoy the fruits of their year-long’s toiling and sweating. Of course money is spent, a lot. I agree with you (Sipho). Christmas is expensive. But what is not, really?

I don’t want to change the mind of anyone who hates Christmas about the way they feel about it. I only wish that they experience the beauty that it brings one day.

If people overdo it, let them mind their own business. All that they should do is to be smart spenders/consumers and never to go on holiday on credit. During the festive season, some people (like myself) rest, reflect and re-strategise, some party, some shop, some fall in love, some indulge in whatever they want, some go on spiritual retreats, some go to the sea (or overseas) – they do all sorts of things that seem pleasing to their eyes. I don’t think it is “forced happiness” as you put it. Let them be. ‘Tis the season to be jolly – It’s allowed.

Merry Christmas.

@Refilwe Thobega.

The 'wilderness' mentality

This blog is purely inspired by friends (and strangers) who continue to “inbox” and send me e-mails saying that they love the blog and totally appreciate it. One friend recently said: “People are looking for hope and inspiration, and your last post (Your Turn is Coming) gave that very well.” Thanks friend.

I think celebrity news and gossip are not really enriching. Whether Chris Brown and Rihanna get back together, does not affect me. (It’s nice to read about it though.) But I’m not going to blog about it. On some TV Show Pabi Moloi when asked if she was in favour of them getting back together or not, she basically said she couldn’t care less : “For us, it is just a story we read about, but for them, it is real life,” she added. She continued to say that it is the toxic relationships that we find so hard to let go of. True! 

"... Love in a hopeless place ..." 

So the book that I just finished reading is called: Battlefield of The Mind by (the ever inspiring) Joyce Meyer. And I secretly hope that somehow something leads her to this web page. That would be awesome. She follows me on Twitter. I follow her too #Teamfollowback.  I remember a while ago I reviewed Hugo Africa’s book whose title I cannot recall. Somehow he saw the posting and found a way to find my contact details and one evening when I was out with my sister he called me. Out of the blue. I was super chuffed. He simply said “thank you” for the positive review and that he hoped that we could work together in the future.  I was like: are you serious? 

Unfortunately, some bimbo made some not-so-ayoba comments about Hugo on the blog, then Hugo kindly asked me to remove the post. Although I totally understood where he was coming from, my blog was a bit upset to lose a nice piece. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and whether positive or negative, that is what they “think” or “heard” about you, especially if you are a public figure. So I am of the #TeamLetthemsaywhatevertheysay, aslongas youknowthetruth. But I had to respect his wishes. 

But my reviews are not based on whether the author sees them or not. I am doing it purely based on my love of books, reading and the desire to share … 

Children of Israel ready to cross Jordan.

Battlefield of the Mind explains why the children of Israel took 40 years to get to the “promised land”. Apparently that could have been an 11 days’ journey – believe it or not. One would think they were dunderheads for taking so many years to get to a place that could have been reached within less than two weeks. But there was a divine purpose, I guess.  They had what Joyce calls a “wilderness” mentality. Most of us have that mentality. We are fearful, doubtful, mentally lazy, negative, hypocrites – always grumbling, fault finding, stubborn, unforgiving, and so forth. Joyce does a great job of unpacking all these mentalities and behaviours and explains what the roots of such issues are and how we can free ourselves from the “strongholds” that poison and imprison our minds, robbing us of blissful and prosperous lives.

I am not proud of that I really took a long time to compete the book. My excuse would be I have been too busy. Besides, it is a very fat book. My sister is currently reading: Do yourself a Favour: Forgive, by Joyce Meyer still. I will read and review it as soon as she is done. 

Battlefield was a gift from a friend. It wasn’t actually a gift; she lent it to me. We moved apart and she let me keep it. We were both admitted at the same hospital at the same time last year (and I don’t think she’d be cool with it if I posted some pics here). But I think she is amazing. Who has the “spirit” to give while they, themselves are experiencing pain? We were both going though one of our lowest points in our lives. She didn’t only meet me there. That was also where she found her soul mate and love of her life. Yes! In hospital. (Our lives are filled with such great stories, I tell you! Who would have thought?)

Soul mates 

Battlefield of the Mind was more than just a special gift. It is a silent therapist and a motivational speaker. It speaks volumes. Joyce says: “Worry, doubt, confusion, anger, and feelings of condemnation … all these are attacks on the mind. If you suffer from negative thoughts, take heart!”

You deal with thousands of thoughts you have every day and focus your mind the way God thinks. She shares the trials, tragedies and ultimate victories from her own marriage, family and ministry that led her to a wondrous, life-transforming truth. 

If you can, get your hands on it. Happy reading … 

@RefilweThobega

Happy reading, bookworm. 

Your turn is coming.

You are not forgotten! 

On Tuesday I went to Sars in Randburg to do my tax stuff. What could have just been a 20-minute task ended up in a five-hour ordeal. I kid you not. Me and my friend walked in and got seated at about 11.30 and we only got helped after five hours.

I usually do e-filing. But somehow this year it just seemed a bit “macho” to physically go to one of the biggest Sars buildings in Mzansi. I’m kidding. I had my reasons.

Do not get me wrong. This is not a complaint. I actually learned something very important while there.

Here is what happens. When you walk in, the security personnel searches your bag, and then you proceed to a gentleman with a little box. In this box, there are little pieces of paper with numbers written on them. He asked me what I had come to do. “Personal tax returns” I said. He gave me a piece of paper with the number 654 written on it. Then he directed us to the next room.

My friend and I proceeded, and got seated. The “hall” was packed with people. Black, white, young, old.  All sorts of people. Far above on the wall, hanged what looked like a TV screen. And there were speakers. A voice from the speakers announced what number should go to which counter. 

And as a number was called, the same number appeared on the screen and it also showed the number of the counter where the holder of that number would be assisted. I paid attention to the screen, I realised that they were not calling the numbers in chronological order. The female voice (and a very irritating voice, I tell you) would say “ticket number 428 to counter 12” and then next say “ticket number 785 to counter 28”. I thought that my number (654) had a nice ring to it. So I told myself “agg, my number will be called in no time. One hour max!” At least I was not having unrealistic expectations. “One hour max!”

What a pain in the your know what.

Three hours later we were still sitting. Never been called. People came in and went out. After a while a very, very old man came in and sat next to me. I felt so sorry for him. He was number 855. “They should make plans to assist the elderly separately, so that they don’t queue for ages like the rest of us,” my friend said. And I silently prayed that this oupa’s number gets called soon, since there was no particular order. Otherwise it would be torture for him. I generally have a very soft spot for the elderly.

Eventually his number was called. And off he went. And I said a silent “Yes!” on his behalf.

Then this other guy came in, sat down, and within less than five minutes, his number was called. Commotion followed. People were like “what the hell?” But I did not pay attention. My focus was on the TV screen.

The watch hit 15.00. Numbers were still being called. People stood up. Some sat down. Others went up the stairs. Some came down. But my focus remained on the screen. At some point my eyes started to complain; and I was not sure if my eyes were sore because of hunger or because of starring at the blurry screen for long. But I did not care. I kept on hoping: “my number will be up next.”

I know that my boat will eventually come. 

A little later I stood up to stretch my feet. I got a bit worried when they called out number 1239. I walked up to the gentleman who was wearing a Sars T-shit. “I have been sitting down since 11.30, it is now 15.30, is there a possibility that they might have skipped my number?” He took my ticket and went to find out. After a minute he came back. “No, your turn is still coming. You will be called soon,” he reassured me.

I went back. After about 10 minutes my friend’s number was called. Up the stairs she went. Then this sophisticated lady waltzed in with her handsome son. It was impossible not to notice her. She looked very “upmarket” -- with nice make-up, long straight fake hair, nice red skinny pants, green blazer,12-inch stilettos. The works. I thought “when I grow up, I want to be like…” and before I could finish my thought her number was called!

I was fuming. How is this possible? I have been here for ages! This is total unfairness! Somebody please explain this to me …

When my friend came back, I complained to her. “Sometimes it is all about who you know inside,” she said in a very calm manner. I let it go. Being upset about it was not going to make a difference.

“Ticket number 654 to counter 12”

 Finally my number was called. You can imagine the relief that followed.

Oh cool. Finally ...

And you know what? I compare what happened at Sars to what happens in our lives every day.

The Sars ordeal reminded me that in life:

Being there first does not guarantee that you will “get in” first. Sometimes we have to wait patiently for what we need (or want). Sometimes, people who came after you will get in before you. You’ll just have to swallow your fury and deal with it. In life, we are all coded with numbers which are called randomly, and you should never sit back and relax because you don’t know when your number will be called. You want to be ready when your turn comes. And if you have been waiting for too long, just hang in there, know and believe that your turn is certainly coming. Sometimes people will go right ahead of you and snatch what you want badly… right in front of you. It is life.

And very detrimental to the wait is your attitude. A negative attitude will only make the experience unbearable.    

                                                       

Maybe you are waiting for God to do something specific for you. Maybe you are whining and winging that you have been waiting for too long. Maybe you are this close to throwing in the towel.

But before you quit, remember this poem (Author Unknown):    

       

“Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 
And you never can tell how close you are, 
It may be near when it seems so far, 
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.”

So, my beautiful dear … just wait, your turn is still coming. 

Ok, now back at Sars. As I proceeded to counter 12, all I could think was “thank goodness” and suddenly it didn’t bother me that I had been waiting for ages. I was just happy that my time finally came.

Not-so-lucky number 654.

The Seven Spiritual of Success

I haven’t updated my blog in quite a while. Of that, I’m guilty. However, I have just completed reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. The number one New York Times Bestseller is supposedly “a practical guide to the fulfilment of your dreams”. I believe so too.

In this book, Deepak Chopra distils the essence of his teachings into seven simple, yet powerful principles that can easily be applied to create success in all areas of one’s life.

And I promised myself that I’m going to practise everything that Mr Chopra advises, and if my life is still the same after 12 months, I’ll seek my money back. No negotiations. LOL.

And now I have moved on to Battlefield of the Mind – winning the battle in your mind -- by Joyce Meyer. I will post its review here on Favorite Flavor once I have completed reading it. The book “talks” about wrong and right thinking, positivity and negativity, and how to conquer the “battle” in your mind. Remember that everything that happens in (your) life is a product of (your) “thought”. It all begins in the mind – whether good or bad. So Ms Meyer’s book simply teaches how to master your thoughts to create success, positivity, health, good luck and all things lovely.

I am reading this sort of books because I am on a hectic spiritual journey right now. I am even learning to master the art of meditation. Slowly, but surely. I’ll keep on sharing what I know and learning on this remarkable road to self-discovery and self-mastery because I believe that I am not the only one going through this “phase”.

Most of you (who know my other “side”) might be thinking: where did the controversial Refilwe disappear to? Don’t worry, I’m still here. Crazy as ever. Mad, mental and irritating as can be. But, I have had to pause, breath, reflect, face the music (and you know how the truth can really hurt sometimes), seek divine guidance and “do the work” – as Inyanla Vanzant would say. You have to do the work.

A positive mindset can achieve wonders.

Anyway, enough about that, let’s go back to Deepak Chopra. There are seven laws:

·         the law of pure potentiality

·         the law of giving

·         the law of “Karma” (yeah, I love this one. What goes around comes around; the pain we cause in people’s lives will come back to us. All the lies, the hatred, all that we forcefully take from others, deception, cunningness – they will make a u-turn and go back to the source)

·         the law of least effort

·         the law of intention and desire

·         the law of detachment

·         the law of “Dharma” or purpose in life.

Deepak also quotes some verses from the Bible to show you that these laws have always been there. He didn’t make them up. There is a verse in the Bible that says: Be still and know that I am God (In simple “earthly” translation: spend some time alone, meditate and let God take care of the details, you can't know it all, you can’t be in control all the time. Sit down). There is another one that says: Do not be anxious of anything … (Relax and quiet your mind. Do not stress) and the other one that says: Do unto others … (This is where the law of Karma comes in).

It all begins in the mind.

I have read several self-help/motivational/inspirational books, such as: The Secret, The power of positive thinking, In the meantime, In the Valley,  just to name a few (that immediately come to mind), and I have realised that all of the things that these books say are actually in the Bible. All of them. It is just that different authors try to explain and elaborate and make practical examples, but most, if not all, of these “principles” and “laws” are right there, in our homes – in the form of a Bible. But being able to understand what the word is saying is a different gift all together.

I am not preaching, I just wanted to get that little “discovery” out of the way. So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and children of all ages, I hope that you get to equip your soul and minds with all that they need to transform your lives, one positive thought at a time.

Till next time.

God Bless. I love you. (Damn, I have really become sentimental these days) WTH? *puzzled face*

You are what you are waiting for!

We spend a lot of our lives looking for role models, mentors, teachers, and gurus to guide us on our path. There is nothing wrong with this and, in fact, finding the right person at the right time can really help. However, it is important to realise that in the absence of such a figure, we can very safely rely upon ourselves. 


We carry within us everything we need to know to make progress on our paths to self-realization. The outer world serves as a mirror. Or to use another metaphor, our inner world has a magnetic force that draws to us what we need to evolve to the next level. All we need to do to see that we already have everything we need is to let go of our belief that we need to seek in order to find. 

The path of the spirit is often defined as a journey with a goal such as the fabled pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. In this metaphor, a person begins a search for something they want but do not have and then they find it, and there is a happy ending. 

It is all within reach, just go for it. 

However, most of us know that getting what we want only makes us happy for a moment, and then the happiness passes until a new object of desire presents itself. Joy is a permanent aspect of our inner selves and is not separate from us at any point. We do not have to travel to find it or imagine that it resides only in the body of another. In fact, what the best teachers will do is point out that this very precious elixir is something we already possess. 

So when we find ourselves on our path, not knowing which way to turn and wishing for guidance, we can turn to ourselves. We may not know the right answer rationally or intellectually, but if we simply ask, let go, and wait patiently, an answer will come. The more we practice this and trust this process, the less we will look outside ourselves for teachers and guides for we will have successfully become our own. -- DailyOM

I believe I can fly

SOS: Asking for help is not a weakness.

Help! I am drowning. 

Asking for help is something that we all know and understand. Asking for help is admitting that we all co-exist to help, support, and even serve, each other. But how many people fail to ask for help while struggling because of fear of being judged? Or pride? Asking for help is not a weakness. It has everything to do with knowing that motho ke motho ka batho 

(I am ... because of others). 

I came across the below piece of information, relating to asking for help, on the site www.ivillage.com. I was even more attracted to it because of the picture (above) accompanying it. I found it quite catchy and really relevant. You need a helping hand when you can't reach, when you can't see a way forward, when you don't know how you are going to do it. That's when you need help the most.  

Studies show that getting encouragement and support from others is a powerful weapon for changing difficult behaviors. Ask your friends to provide encouragement and offer to do the same for them. 

Sharing your struggles with others can be a powerful motivator for change. That’s why groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers are so popular and successful. 

These groups can also provide information and advice. In addition, if you feel ashamed of your behavior, you may find it therapeutic to share your troubles with other women who are going through similar experiences.

Source: ivillage.com

Read More http://www.ivillage.com/10-ways-reboot-your-get-healthy-motivation/4-b-428091#ixzz1oqTOVJQA 

 Go on, ask for help. And don't forget the magic word: please.